Barn Besties: How you can be a supportive friend

The horse community can be one of the most supportive and uplifting places... when we make it that way. How you treat the people around you matters, it sets the stage for how your environment feels, whether that's at your riding school, at your grazing or at shows. Being a good friend in the horse world isn’t complicated, but it is intentional. Here are some simple ways to bring kindness, confidence, and community into your barn life.

1. Support Each Other’s Journeys

Every rider is on their own timeline. Some are building confidence, some are chasing competition goals, and others just love a quiet hack after school. A good friend cheers for all of those journeys, not just their own.

• Celebrate their wins, even the small ones.

• Ask how their ride went.

• Be there on the good days and the frustrating ones.

A supportive friend lifts others up, not just when it’s convenient, but consistently.

2. Understand Different Confidence Levels & Experiences

One thing that makes the horse world incredible is how different we all are. Your friend might be braver than you in one area, while you might have more experience in another. That’s normal.

A great friend understands that:

• Just because one of you is comfortable doing something doesn't mean the other is.

• What's hard for one rider may be easy for another.

• Everyone has their own comfort zone.

Respecting those differences, and not teasing, pushing, or judging, helps create a safe space where you both can grow.

3. Don’t Rub It In

Horses come with opportunities: shows, adventures, new horses, extra rides, jumping days. Sometimes you get to do things your friend doesn’t. Sometimes it’s the other way around.

Being a good horsey friend means:

• Sharing your excitement without bragging.

• Being mindful of how you talk about opportunities others might not have.

• Never using your progress or privileges as a way to “one-up” someone else.

• Being proud and excited for your friend's achievements and opportunities.
  

Celebrate what you’re lucky to experience, but don’t make others feel “less than” because their journey looks different.

4. Use Positive, Kind Language

What you say matters. The barn should feel like a safe space, not a competitive or judgmental one.

Try to use language that:

• Encourages (“You did really well today!”)

• Reassures (“Everyone has off days, don’t stress.”)

• Supports (“If you want help tacking up, I’m here.”)
  

Kind words in the horse world go a long way. You never know someone else’s confidence level that day.

5. Include Your Friends, Even If They Ride Differently

Being inclusive is one of the best gifts you can give another rider.

Invite friends even if their style or pace is different. For example:

• If you want to go on a hack and plan to trot or canter, still invite the friend who usually prefers to walk. Just tell them your plan so they can make the choice and aren't left out.

• If you’re going to a show, ask if they want to come help or watch even if they’re not competing.

  
  

Inclusion doesn’t mean you have to change your ride, it means making space for others and being honest about what you’re doing so they can choose to join comfortably.

6. Celebrate Difference, Don’t Compare

Comparison is one of the biggest confidence-killers in the horse world. Good friends don’t compare horses, tack, achievements, progress, or opportunities.

Instead, they focus on:

• Having fun

• Learning from each other

• Supporting each other

The best horse friendships grow through shared love of horses, not competition.

In the End…

Being a good friend in the horse world is simply about kindness, awareness, and empathy. Horses teach us patience, humility, and teamwork and the same lessons apply to our relationships with other riders.

Lift each other up. Include each other. Celebrate each other and remember that the horse world is always better when we choose to be good teammates. Both in and out of the saddle.